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big book musings on justruminating men's blogOne of the most dramatic parts of Bill W’s story, in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, is when he actually takes part in Step 3:

Step 3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

While sitting in his kitchen with his newly sober friend, he says:

There I humbly offered myself to God, as I then understood Him, to do with me as He would.  I placed myself unreservedly under His care and direction.  I admitted for the first time that of myself I was nothing; that without Him I was lost.

courage in higher power on justruminating men's blogAnd that is the key for my own understanding of my Higher Power:  it’s as I understand him.  Many folks take issue with the religious undertones of AA.  However, they are completely missing the boat:  AA is not a religious organization, nor does it preach any religious dogma whatsoever.

It is, however, a well known fact that many in AA suggest that lifelong recovery is not possible without  serious spiritual awakening.  I am still trying to discover what, exactly, my Higher Power is or represents.

But I do know this:  if I am to maintain my sobriety, I need to change myself.  Some days I cannot do this alone.  Some days I rely on something akin to a Higher Power.  I do believe in what Bill–before he takes up Step 3–says earlier when he says:

I had always believed in a Power greater than myself…I had little doubt that a mighty purpose and thythm underlay all.  How could there be so much of precise and immutable law, and no intelligence?

hp1I wholeheartedly share that belief.  I believe in the oneness of the universe and, if pressed, I would say that I am more into Taoism, Zen, and Buddhism, than anything.

Bill W. came to a spiritual awakening in his kitchen that day.  After countless attempts to quit a serious drinking problem he had failed.  However, once he made that decision to turn his life over to a God of his understanding, he never again took a drink.